I am raising my white flag, embracing surrender today. I don't wanna, but I gotta. As I think about going into work in a few hours, I feel empty and a little defeated. My job is meaningless and I am not passionate about it on my own. I sell clothes, meet tourists, tell people they look good, and sucker them into getting a credit card with my store. As I said, meaningless. but when I relinquish control, when I look to the Lord in each moment while I'm there, when I surrender...my job becomes something beautiful. Suddenly women are telling me their life stories, letting me hold their babies, looking to me to affirm their wounded hearts, prophicying over my life, and hugging me good-bye. To the world, my life looks bleak and unfulfilling. Apparently making $7/hour, driving a COUGAR, and living in a bug-infested cabin (yes, cabin) aren't exactly glamorous. I confess there are times when I desire more: more money, nicer things, more freedom, health insurance, stability... I want to go to a high school reunion and be proud of my life, not ashamed. Am I embarrassed of my life? A little. And yet this is a humbling place for me to be. A place of simplicity, a place of peace, a place of surrender. Did I choose this life? No. But I did choose to follow Christ. The "more" I long for is nothing compared to the abundance of life in Christ. So up goes my flag.
"this is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."
1 comment:
Jean Vieve!!!!
thank you so much for sharing your heart, i miss hanging out with you and hearing these things in person (that's not to make you feel bad, it's just i need to be more intentional with hang out time). i love your heart friend, you reflect Christ in so many ways! be encouraged friend!
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